


Concerning the passage of Time and Life, and how it affects the Heart

by kolosaskolo



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Angst, Cuddling, Dream Bubbles, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Fanart, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Flushed Romance | Matesprits, Hurt/Comfort, Illustrated, Multi, POV Nepeta Leijon, WELL ENJOY, but its ok they r there for each other :), hh i wanna tag more but dont wanna spoil it, idk this is rly out of character probably i havent read homestuck in 20 years, its been a year since i logged into ao3 i came here again bc i big gay, yeehaw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-07
Updated: 2018-07-07
Packaged: 2019-06-06 19:57:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15202322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kolosaskolo/pseuds/kolosaskolo
Summary: An Arafefnep Oneshot. Written from Nepeta's point of view, it's really just a description of their day. It's fluffy, it's angsty, what else would you need.Aka the girls go to the beach, go home, and talk a Lot.





	Concerning the passage of Time and Life, and how it affects the Heart

**Author's Note:**

> hoOH i havent written in a year so this is probably really bad sorry !! i rushed it in two days because i get bored of projects easily and well. i wrote this Technically only because one of my friends wanted me to write some arafefnep (coughannielookyourebeingexposedforyourbullyingcough) but it was a good motivator either way? I wanted to write something for a while now but never felt any need to/inspiration for it. Anyways. Enjoy !

You have been collecting flowers all day. You have a large basket that you would like to dry later for decorating your art and photographs. Your girlfriends told you they headed to the beach roughly an hour ago. You head in the general direction of the ocean aimlessly and slowly, relishing in the feeling of being here.

 

You walk in silence, mindful of the dull sounds of your footsteps moving through the thick marram grass. In the distance you see Feferi waving to you.  
You stumble slightly as you run towards her with a smile. She meets you with a grin of her own and picks you up in a quick hug, swaying from side to side. She lets you down as you look around.  
"Hello dear. Where's Purradia?" you ask.  
"O)(, s)(e went on to get us a plaice in the c)(ippers furt)(er down! T)(oug)( to be fair I don't t)(ink s)(e )(ad to searc)( )(ard".  
You nod as you acknowledge the lack of people around, as always. You tell yourself its a result of the overcast sky, but you don't mind this in the slightest. It calms you.

 

You walk alongside Fef until you reach the small open booth. You notice Aradia looking bored in the corner. She looks up smiling when she sees you though. Walking over, you and Feferi sit down on either side of her as you place the basket of flowers on another seat. She kisses both of you on the cheeks. You order something to eat as they begin to talk about their day. 

 

"-and t)(at's acs)(oally )(ow I found out aboat this plaice!"  
You nod and smile at Feferi's story. A glance at the clock tells you an hour has passed. You were enjoying yourself greatly but you suggest to go onto the sand for a while. It should be getting dark soon, and you don't want to miss an opportunity to be outside for a change.  
They agree with you so you pay and leave. 

 

You take off your shoes and carry them instead as you walk through the sand. You hear the rhythm of the waves moving in and out across the shore. It's like the Earth is breathing. You love it. At times like this, the world seems so alive. It's completely unlike Alternia. There you would be dead before you could come close to the ocean. It was too far anyway, so you didn't have to worry about being torn to shreds by highblood lusii. Lucky you!

 

You decide you prefer it on Earth.

 

Aradia walks in front of you and Feferi until she finds a good space and sits down. You follow. Your hair whips around your face in the wind and you hold tightly onto your basket of flowers. She looks serene. As she stares out at the water her eyes glisten. She shares your amazement of the Earth. Does she share your amazement of her? You hope so. If she doesn't, you want to make sure that she will.  
You hear someone sprint into the water, a splash, and a shriek. Aradia giggles and her smile reveals her freckled dimples. Her eyes scrunch up as she laughs. She looks at you then. Her warm and radiating happiness is infectious. 

 

 

You look at your scalie girlfriend - you never let her live that down - in the water, shivering in the cold. She laughs shakily when she notices you, before diving under the surface. When she comes back up her hair is glued to her skin and her fins are fully stretched out. You watch her lean backwards and fall down with her arms spread out, letting the water carry her.  
You hear a quiet "oh shes t posing" from beside you and throw sand in Aradia's general direction. 

 

You lean back onto your elbows as you watch Feferi flail around for a while. At one point you feel a gentle flutter on your face. The feather-like sensation causes you to turn your head and find that some flowers are being blown out by the wind, some landing on you. An image comes to mind.  
"Hey Radi, can I do something?"  
"go for it"  
You pick up some flowers and move over to sit behind her. Taking long strands of silky night, you part her hair into segments. You start weaving the flowers into it. Some of the petals fly away but you don't mind. You finish the braid as she gently looks back at you. She looks beautiful. You comb through the ends with your fingers a few times, before reaching over and grabbing more flowers to adorn her with. Eventually you move back to your original place, pick some thin stemmed ones, and begin folding them together.

 

You focus on your task. Your dusty fingers thread the plants together. The ocean is still whispering, the wind is still whistling, and the Earth breathes just like you do. An irregular splashing to your front indicates the location of one of your girlfriends. A sound of sand being messed with to your side indicates the other.  
You finish the flower crown and place it on Aradia's head, carefully avoiding her horns. You look between your two favourite people and your heart swells. How did you ever get so lucky? They are not only your girlfriends but also your best friends. You know you bring them down with your mood swings and you also know they would sacrifice all the time and energy in the world for you. You have everything you've ever dreamt of, and more. And all of a sudden it's hard to see.  
You wipe your eyes as discreetly as you can and look away at the rest of the beach.

 

The stretch of sand is a mix of colours against the darkening sky. You see a few humans dotting their way towards the horizon. No trolls, no carapacians, you note. Still, you'd like to say hi to them. You wish you could. At least none of them are alone, just like you aren't. You have to remind yourself of that sometimes.  
The windows of distant hives- houses, you mean- glow as the inhabitants get ready for the night. All surrounding shops and booths are closing or already closed.  
You love that you have no schedule. You can stay out here for as long as you wish.

 

Why don't you?

 

Feferi trudges out of the water, coming with the swash across the sand. She's sopping through and comes towards you and Aradia. She breathes heavily as her body adjusts to the air, her gill flaps rising and falling.  
You shake yourself from your thoughts and call out, "how's my purrincess?", with a coy grin.  
She gives you a lopsided smile and narrows her eyes. "Neppie you KNOW It's not like t)(at anemone, and you B--ETTA know it's not up for debait!"  
You smirk. "I said *my* purrincess. Not royalty, but a wonderfurl girl, or rather gill, that I love."  
She laughs as she sits down beside you. She falls into your trick each time, and it never fails to make her blush. She scoffs dramatically and throws her head over her shoulder to look at you. You feel a tightness in your chest, looking at her like this. You lean forward and kiss her nose before jerking back and pulling a face.  
"Mew taste like salt."  
")(e)(e, t)(ank you!"  
No more words are spoken, and none need to be. You stare out at the water as the clouds darken, wind creating a foam of white to speckle the dark water like stars. You tilt your head to lay on Feferi's shoulder. She settles in as well, leaning her own against yours. Soon Aradia joins too. She links your arm with hers and lays half on you. You're aware of her weight on your body and Feferi's cool, damp skin on your cheek. You breathe slowly and steadily, the same rhythm as the waves coming and retreating.

 

 

By the time Feferi is almost dry, evening has settled well around you and the clouds block out most of the remaining light. A layer of darkness covers you; even with your advantage of nocturnal vision you can barely make out your surroundings anymore. Though to be fair it was never truly dark on Alternia; the double moons glowed like giant lanterns. You stand up and brush off any remaining sand from your legs, watch the others do the same, and you pick up your shoes and basket.  
As you walk you sneak your claws into your girlfriends' hands.  
Aradia looks onwards but squeezes your hand while Feferi smiles at you, unintentionally suffocating you with her pearly white eyes.

 

The walk towards your hive is long. It seems like it should be quiet but it's not. None of you speak, yet the constant sound of the planet never disappears. From waves to crickets to distant parties to the wind, you don't need to say anything to be part of an untold conversation. You wish you could listen to this forever.

 

 

When you reach your hive the sounds fade out. Panting, footsteps, crickets. Then panting and crickets. Then only crickets.  
You're sitting cross legged on the concrete in front of your hive. The flowers are drying upside down in bunches above the door, but you can't see them anymore. You wonder why the moment of the beach had to end. You consider when the next one could be. You also consider when the next one realistically will be, unimpressed with the difference. You know you all must leave this place soon, but its hard.

 

The door creaks open behind you and you hear the light tapping of flip flops and flats coming close.  
They sit down on either side of you. Aradia takes up a piece of grass from the lawn and picks at it, considering her words carefully for a few minutes. Instead, you speak up first.  
"Sorry for being like this."  
Both of them look up at you before Aradia asks, "like what?"  
"I feel like I'm bringing mew two down by being so low myself. I know mew want to comfurt me but I don't know if I want that anypurr."  
"what are you saying?".  
You wince, the pain in Aradia's voice evident.  
"I'm not saying anything! I love mew both so much, I would litterally die for you though that's a bit too late, but I don't want to hurt mew. And yes, its selfish, but I can't handle the guilt anypurr. I might as well nefur get better since I'm at a standstill anyways. But if I will I'll find you again, I purromise, but for now-"

 

You don't finish your sentance. Feferi is shaking gently beside you, Aradia only looks down, her expression unreadable. You should be able to read her. You've known her for so much time and yet you've never payed enough attention. You hate that you never do, hate what you've done to them. You long for the peaceful moment at the beach again, or even the silent walk home. You regret having said anything. Feferi's voice brings you back from your thoughts.  
"Nepeta, I do not care."  
Well, that's not the reaction you were expecting.  
"Uh-"  
"Y-EA)(! I don't CAR-----E. I don't care t)(at you t)(ink you're )(urting us. You're not; t)(is is a fact, and facts cannot be c)(anged. And I will not lie! I do get reely worried about you! Of course I would!!! But you leaving )(ere alone won't c)(ange that. And it definitely won't FIX IT!"  
You are shocked into silence. You expected this from the start, but you still don't know how to reply. Her voice rises.  
"I'm never going to let you go t)(roug)( t)(is by yours)(ellf! W)(et)(er you like it, OR NOT!!"  
You can hear her breaths being irregular. She's struggling not to cry. You can barely make out her fists bunching up in her skirt in the darkness.  
Aradia is silent, leaning down close to the ground. She feels you staring. Straightening up, she looks away from you and brings a hand up to her mouth, rocking slightly.

 

You don't know what to say next. So you move on.  
"These aren't our mewmories. We should stop taking advantage of them like this."  
Aradia replies, "these memories don't belong to anyone. they used to, but how many dead versions of our friends have actually stayed in their own bubbles?"  
You look at the ground as she continues.  
"this one is completely empty. it has been so for much too long. by visiting each of them we are only doing them a favour. they could use being visited; why would a positive memory exist if not to be used? they pop soon anyways. you know they're preparing to fight him..."  
She is quiet again, just as suddenly as she wasn't. You are too.  
After what feels like an hour, you speak up again.  
"Then it's your choice if mew want to stay with me until that happens."  
Feferi stands up and walks by. You hear her whisper, "It always was." under her breath. Her squeaky footsteps leave into the hive.

 

You're too tired to do anything. You've done enough damage. Aradia leans onto your shoulder then, her horn poking into your neck in a way that's only slightly painful. She takes up your hands into her own and holds them. Her hands are much bigger than yours, freckles invisible in the light, or lack of thereof. Her skin is warm. Hot blood is expected from a burgundy, but it's never unwanted.  
You're exhausted. You tell her that. She says she knows.  
You say you hurt Feferi again. She says she will be okay. She asks, will you?  
You don't reply.  
You don't mention the fact that soon, she will see the universe be torn to shreds, including any and all versions of you and Fef.  
You do, however, ask if she's scared.  
"of course i am"

To your surprise Feferi returns quite soon. You and Ara shift to look at her (not sure why you did that, it's practically pitch black by now), and her shape is clumpy.  
She drops something in your lap and you realise what she was carrying.  
You hold the pink sweater in your hands, feeling the texture. Feferi throws one to Aradia as well.  
She sits down wordlessly beside you. The lack of conversation unsettles her, you know this. You can't think of anything to say though. Eventually she speaks herself.  
"...it was cold. I didn't want you to freeze."  
Her tone was even and you envy how she brought herself together so easily. You hesitantly slip on the sweater that is much too big for you. You adjust it a bit.  
Feferi stands up again and you're afraid for a moment until you hear a switch being flicked and a yellow glow burns your eyes. She sits back down and you can see her in the lamplight, though you have to squint from the sudden change. She has bags under her eyes, but she doesn't look too upset to your relief. 

 

Mosquitoes begin to crowd around the lamp after a while. You don't pay them much attention.

 

You drop backwards onto the ground with your arms spread out, looking at the sky. The dense clouds hide the rainbow glimmer of the bubble.  
You hear Aradia whisper "t pose" and you can't help but giggle.  
You fold your arms across yourself to make room for them.  
Aradia lays down beside you, leaning on her elbow to face you. Feferi lays down as well, splayed out fully with her head on her bicep. She brings her other arm to hug you around your waist.

 

Ara brushes the hair from your forehead and leans over to plant a kiss on it. She moves lower to your lips and you connect. You bring your hand to her cheek, cupping her face as she smiles. You can see faint red streaks there. You apologise quietly and lean up to kiss her other cheek.  
You continue looking at her as your head drops back down and you lean against Feferi, before turning your head to kiss her too. You mutter another "sorry" but she shushes you.

 

Aradia lays down properly beside you as well and hugs you too, and the three of you lay on the concrete ground in front of your hive for as long as you can. You love being in their company. It immediately lightens your mood.  
You're still wearing the oversized sweater that smells slightly of algae.  
The shaking of their long hair indicates them turning their heads one by one to look up. You do the same.  
You love the clouds. They hide what you hate.  
You love that you have no schedule. You can stay out here for as long as you wish.

 

Until you won't be able to anymore.

 

So you do.

 

 

You don't remember falling asleep, and you don't remember them carrying you into the hive, into bed. You don't remember Aradia shaking her hair out to remove the flowers. You don't remember Feferi taking a shower to avoid getting sand into bed. You don't remember her shutting off the lamp outside leaving a dismayed many mosquitoes in the darkness. You don't remember her crawling into bed with Aradia so that they sandwich you between them. You don't remember Aradia's gentle singing as they fall asleep, nor do you remember them petting your back and head and horns for comfort. 

 

When you wake up, it's still dark. You can feel them breathing evenly against you; Aradia against your neck, Feferi into your hair.  
You want to be able to be grateful for them. You want to make them happy. Even if you can't now (though they would say you do), you're willing to wait and work for it. They are, too. As long as it lasts before the end.

 

You finally decide you'll no longer dwell on staying in a moment. A moment never lasts. How long will you have to wait to experience the exact feeling you want again? Will it ever come if you simply keep waiting?  
Why wait for it when you can make it yourself?  
Just because you don't witness it, the Earth is breathing. Not where you are, but it is. And so are you. 

 

So you let yourself exist in the moment. 

 

You decide that you love it.

**Author's Note:**

> ik this was bad but it was self indulgent so shut your usta up  
> also this is taking me 10 years to figure out how to insert images into fanfics Rest In Pease me


End file.
